بِسْمِ اللّٰهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ
“In the name of Allah the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.”
Every new mum or mum to little children will look back at her Ramadhans before she had children & feel disheartened that she is not getting much ibaadah done. However we tend to forget that raising these tiny humans in the correct manner in itself is a huge ibaadah. So yes, you may be sat breastfeeding most of the time, running after your toddlers & surviving the sleepless nights, but in this too through the immense mercy of Allah ﷻ is great reward. I have put together a few reminders & tips that will Inshā’Allāh not only make you feel better but also help you make the most of this blessed month.
1- Make numerous intentions
•Throughout the entire day, in everything you do try to make a conscious effort to make an intention for everything you do. It could be as simple as feeding your child. “Ya Allah I’m doing this for your pleasure”. Ya Allah it is the sunnah of my Nabi ﷺ to feed his children”. And just like that something that seems like wasting your time becomes an act of worship SubhanAllah!
2- Make continuous du’aa & dhikr
These two things can be done anywhere , in any state & at any time. If you struggle with doing anything else, hold on to these two & you will see the barakah in your life.
3-Fasting in itself is a huge ibaadah
•If all you do is fast, along with getting your faraaidh done Alhamdulillah! Fasting is the special ibadaah of this month & fasting whilst looking after your children is difficult which means you are getting extra reward!
•If you are breastfeeding a newborn you may not be able to fast at all. Remember you are excused for a reason. Allah ﷻ through His wisdom has exempted you. If your child is slightly older you may be able to fast alternative days & manage your milk supply. Whatever & however many fasts you can manage, you may keep that many.
Note: Don’t forget to keep a track of how many fasts you miss so you can make them up later.
Ruling: If fasting affects lactation then one may make qadah (make up for the fasts) when able to do so. A woman should attempt to fast for a day or two & see how she manages. If she feels she is unable to continue fasting, then only she will be regarded as excused. She may also fast with breaks in between. In other words fast one day & then have a break the next day & so on. If there is no fear of harm to the baby or fasting does not affect lactation, then she should fast.
4- Connect with the Quran in whatever way you can.
• You may not be able to recite as much Quran as you could before you had children. With the Quran having a special connection to Ramadhan, this can definitely make you feel like you are not doing anything at all. But remember connecting with the Quran can be done in other forms too, such as listening to it. You can also listen to the tafseer of reliable scholars whilst you cook.
• A good time to get some recitation in, if it works for you, is whilst you are breastfeeding! Download the 13 line quran app & recite whilst you feed. Try to remain in the state of wudhu at all times so it is easier for you to do this.
5- Stay Hydrated between iftaar & suhoor
• Along with drinking plenty of water, try to eat a nutritious suhoor. If you are not one to have an appetite at that time, atleast have a date & some water. Remember Allah ﷻ has placed special blessing in suhoor. A glass of water can give you all the energy you need to get through the day! The Prophet ﷺ has said: “Suhoor is a blessed meal, so do not omit it, even if one of you only takes a sip of water, for Allah & His angels send blessings on those who eat suhoor”. [Ahmad]
•Try to eat fruits with high water content, a good time for this is whilst you perform your taraweeh. Take a break every 4 raka’at & enjoy some watermelon!
6- Get Your Children Involved
• During Ramadhan, you will naturally have more patience. This is a perfect opportunity to teach your children more about our beautiful religion. It could be a du’aa, a Surah, reading the stories of the Prophets & Sahabas etc. Investing in your children in this manner, especially in the month of Ramadhan is not only a great ibaadah but Inshā’Allāh it will also be a form of sadqah-e-jarriyah for you.
• Social media has made everything about show & decor. Teach your children about the spirituality of Ramadhan. Set little tasks & goals for them. Get them actively involved with you. They too should feel a difference to their routine. It may be little things like sitting & making du’aa or Tasbeeh with them, not watching cartoons with music etc.
7-Repent, Self Reflect & Refrain from sins.
• Making good intentions to better yourself can be done anywhere at any time. This is what Ramadhan is actually about! If you finish Ramadhan as a changed person then know that this is a sign of an accepted Ramadhan!
• Refraining from sins is an act of worship that is easily overlooked. It is a huge ibaadah! Ramadhan is all about increasing your taqwa! If this is all you manage to do, you will have gained a lot!
8- Do what works for you
• Don’t compare yourself to anyone, especially not mums on social media.
• Cook meals that are easy for you to accomplish around children.
• If getting some recitation in whilst your children sleep works for you then you do that.
•If taking a nap whilst your children sleep helps you get through the rest of the day, then you do that.
• If you can’t get the extra house work done, it’s completely ok. One month is not going to do any harm. Don’t be fooled by the social media mums who have everything under control. You will never know what goes on behind the scenes!
9- Get the children settled before Taraweeh
•Get the children settled (as per as their usual routine) or occupied with some activity if they are older so it’s easier for you to complete your taraweeh prayer.
• Praying Taraweeh with a newborn can take a while. But don’t worry, each minute that adds up for you to complete your taraweeh prayers will be reward written for you. Not to forget the more difficult something is for you, the greater the reward!
10- Have some sort of a Routine to your day
• Children need a routine! Although your Ramadhan routine may be different to outside of Ramadhan, have some sort of a structure to your day. This will make everything a lot more easier for you Inshā’Allāh.
Tayyibah Tree 