بِسْمِ اللّٰهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ
“In the name of Allah the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.”
(Taken from the advice of our respected scholars)
After performing Esha salaah, the groom should proceed to meet his bride. He should not keep her waiting. After knocking & requesting permission, the groom should make salaam clearly & audibly. The bride should reply to the salaam & welcome her husband. This is a sunnah which should be maintained throughout one’s married life.
Thereafter the couple should shake hands & the groom should affectionately place his hand upon his bride’s forehead & recite the following dua:
اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْأَلُكَ مِنْ خَيْرِهَا وَخَيْرِ مَا جُبِلَتْ عَلَيْهِ، وأعُوْذُ بِكَ مِنْ شَرِّهَا وَشَرِّ مَا جُبِلَتْ عَلَيْهِ
O Allah I ask you for her good and the good you have created her with and I seek your protection from her evil and the evil you have created her with.
[Abu Dawud]
The bride may also recite a similar dua:
اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْأَلُكَ مِنْ خَيْرِهِ وَخَيْرِ مَا جَبَلْتَهُ عَلَيْهِ، وَأعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ شَرِهِ وَشَرِّ مَا جَبَلْتَهُ عَلَيْهِ
The husband should say words of love to his wife and make her feel at home. He should engage with her in light-humored talk & say words that will make her happy and feel loved.
It is recommended to give a special gift at this time as this helps to develop affection and love for one another. The Prophet ﷺ said, “Give gifts to one another and you will increase in love” (Bukhari)
For example, if either spouse had bought a ring or other such jewellery or gifts, this would be the time to give it. Gifts on this night would be treated as personal and sincere while gifts at other times, such as during the wedding reception, may be seen as ritualistic & based on family or cultural demands.
A husband could also offer his new bride something to drink. This is found in the hadith of Asma bint Yazid ibn al-Sakan who said, “I beautified Aa’ishah (r.a) for Allah’s Messenger ﷺ, then called him to come to see her unveiled. He ﷺ came and sat next to her and brought a large cup of milk from which he drank. He then offered it to Aa’ishah (r.a), but she lowered her head and felt shy. I scolded her and said to her, “Take from the hand of the Prophet ﷺ. She then took it and drank some”. [Musnad Ahmad]
Marriage is a new chapter in one’s life. The couple should use this opportunity to start fresh, with the intention of pleasing Allah ﷻ & making an effort to come closer to Allah ﷻ together
If the couple have been dating each other prior to marraige, this is a perfect opportunity to turn to Allah ﷻ & repent. He ﷻ is the most merciful & most forgiving. In this way the marriage InshaAllah will be filled with barakah (blessings).
The couple should offer 2 raka’at nafl salaah (after Esha) in congregation (the husband in front as imaan & the wife behind as a follower), with a combined intention of shukr (gratitude), tahajjud, taubah (repentance) & hajaah (prayer of need). Therefore both should make dua for goodness, blessings, mutual love, faithfulness, chastity, marital success & pious children.
The above practice is not mentioned in any Hadiths. It is from the advice of pious elders. – [taken from Ashraf’s blessings of marriag- by the respected Shaykh Ashraf Ali Thanwi (r)].
The couple should praise each other & their looks, as many feel insecure about themselves.
It is not necessary nor a sunnah to have sexual intercourse on the first night of marriage. The couple will be tired & may just want to spend the night relaxing together, chatting & getting to know one another.
The husband especially, should keep in mind the comfort of his wife. If she is reluctant or anxious, the husband should not persist in trying to convince her. He should approach the matter with calmness. If she is not prepared, the husband should take her feelings into consideration.
If the couple do decide to get intimate & make love they should recite the following dua:
بِسْمِ اللهِ اللَّهمَّ جَنِّبْنَا الشَّيْطَانَ، وَجَنِّبِ الشَّيْطَانَ مَا رَزَقْتَنَا
In the name of Allah, O Allah, distance us from shaitaan & distance shaitaan from what you grant us. [Bhukari]
It is forbidden to reveal the details of one’s sexual intimacy to others. Some newlyweds are pressured by friends to reveal the details of their first night encounter. This is a betrayal of their partner’s trust.
The Prophet ﷺ warned, “Among the most evil people according to Allah ﷻ on the Day of Judgement is a man who has sexual relations with his wife she & with him, then he spreads her secrets” [Muslim]
In another hadith, he ﷺ said, “Do not do this, for it is like a male Satan who meets a female Satan on the road and has sexual intercourse with her while people are watching” [Musnad Ahmad]
Tayyibah Tree 